We all struggle

 

It is in all of us – this choking disease: this need to rest and this fight against sleep.

This heart beat skipping stones and sticks and beats and broken bones.

This feast of fury to eat us alive, this kick and anger and strive to survive.

This depression nightmare in dark nights awake: this insomnia, this burden, this funeral, this wake.

This self-pitying chant that carries us on – the cries of deep pains written in song.

This hurt and this greed: our need to feed.

This kicked out of house that was never called “home.”

This desperate attempt to never be alone.

This struggle to help ourselves. The wanting to please, the volatile almost-foolproof dirty facade we keep. This bitter flame to hold others at bay: the burn, the hurt, the heat.

Get away from this!

This lineage of misfortune one generation into the next. This unrest, this discord, this riot in soul. This coup, this toyi-toyi, this upset we call

our own.

This cancerous growth that takes more the longer it stays. This coma, this inebriated, near-dead state.

This fist-clenched hand ready to stir a crowd to prove to all there’s a man around. This shame, this head-hanging low.

This over-looked scandal of “if only they knew…” They know.

They’ve seen you.

This search for salvation and denial of truth: this disobedience, this blundering thief, this arrogance, this sinner needs peace from this choking disease –

from this need to rest and this fight against sleep.