I wasn’t always depressed. That in itself sounds depressing but it’s not. This story ends well and every day I get up and choose to live it ends well. So read on knowing I’m ok. That my symbol – the semicolon – isn’t a reminder of a bad time that I’ve left behind. It’s me writing my story. On my terms.
So. I wasn’t always depressed (and teenage angst doesn’t count). I didn’t grow up and think, “When I’m big I want to be a writer and maybe try tap out of life a few times.” Sometimes I’m right, sometimes I’m wrong. But I’m glad I still have more fingers to count than the number of times I have been wrong.
Today is World Semicolon Day driven by Project Semicolon – a movement dedicated to presenting hope and love to those who struggle with mental illness, suicide, addiction & self-injury. These are real issues that more than 160 million people live with every day. I’m one of these people. I’m one of these people who chose to live instead of ending their story.
Depression kind of crept up on me. If I’m honest with myself it kind of kicked me in the head one day and part of me thinks it was there all along but another part of me won’t accept that. I have depression. I am not my depression. I take my medication. I regularly see a therapist. I exercise. I do things I love. I work hard at my relationships. I love myself… mostly. I’m still learning to love myself but that’s something I choose every day too.
If you ask me about my semicolon, I might tell you my story or I might smile and remind myself how far I’ve come. If you’re reading this, you have also chosen to live. I hope that you will wake up tomorrow and choose to live again. And again.